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Well the universe just collapsed. So I'll just go on like nothing happened, because facing a nightmare of such proportions will probably make me go insane. In all honestly, I shouldn't be writing right now, but I will anyway since it might make me feel better. I miss my Michael...ANYWAY. Another year, another Oscars. I mentioned last year that the Academy Awards are about as important as the Superbowl, at least to me. Really all the Academy Awards need are a way to make bets on them. Its kinda pointless to put money down for "Black Swan" when I know with some certainty that "The Social Network" is gonna win anyway. Maybe you could bet on which minor technical award like "sound editing" will put the most members of the audience to sleep. This year luckily, Cablevision and ABC are not fighting a brutal war, so that means the airwaves for the Oscars will be totally clear! Yay! I'll most likely miss them considering the Wake, but you know, that's how it goes. You'll all be second next to my baby.
Its easy enough to be cynical about the Oscars, considering them to be nothing more than the crooked machinations of old bitter fogies who couldn't see a good movie if it were given to them via suppository. However, I am far more forgiving. The Academy does have a bias, but not against hipness or entertainment. They like actor movies, films where the performers break out of their regular personas and really take the craft of acting to its very limit. So a movie like "Tron: Legacy" will never get much respect from the Academy. I don't entirely agree with such an assessment, but I wouldn't call it an "illegitimate" viewpoint. The Oscars still are the best standard of awarding high achievement in filmmaking.
Last year this post was dedicated to short thoughts on all ten Best Picture nominations, so I suppose I'll do the same again. There would be another post tomorrow about the actual show itself, yet circumstances don't look good for it. You should be happy that you're all enough of a distraction from me knowing that Michael will never see the new "Zelda" game that I could post this at all*. Maybe on Monday I'll write something about who won what. This is the best you're gonna get I think.
So anyway, that countdown:
1. 127 Hours: I reviewed this one two weeks ago. My thoughts on it really have no changed much. Its pretty funny that James Franco is not only nominated for Best Actor for this movie, but is also co-hosting the Oscars along with Anne Hathaway**. So there's the chance this sentence could show up during the broadcast: "The Oscar goes to...... ME!!!" "127 Hours" is a nice movie about overcoming terrible odds, something that doesn't seem to happen enough in real life. Seeing it again might make me feel better, so there's that.
2. Black Swan: My personal favorite for the win, if only because at no point during the long history of the Academy Awards has a horror movie ever been nominated***, let alone won, unless you count "Ghost". I don't know why the Academy actually saw this movie as being different, though perhaps the addition of a sexy lesbian subplot in the psychological horror might have made the difference. This movie gave me nightmares about my feet webbing together, so it gets points for that. There's no way in Hell it will win, keep remembering that.
3. The Fighter: I saw the trailers for this one and thought it was "Rocky" in Boston. Since I have yet to see the original "Rocky" (despite having seen all the sequels), I really didn't want to see some regional rip-off. Honestly this movie doesn't illicit much of anything from me, and I usual forget about its existence.
4. Inception: Another movie that has no chance in Hell of winning, and ironically my second-favorite film on this list. "Inception" is a maddeningly complex heist movie inside dreams. It has zero gravity kung-fu, car chases, an arctic battlefield, Leonardo DiCaprio losing his mind (again), and Ellen Page looking cute. A true marvel of expanding the art of filmmaking and bringing some intelligence to the summer blockbuster genre. That's why it can't win. Too much special effect, not enough acting. If it did win I would tear off my own head.
5. The Kids Are All Right: Every year at the Academy Awards there are usually a couple of films that I have never heard of until they get their nominations. I thought "The Kids Are All Right" was actually Robert De Niro's "Everybody's Fine" until exactly five minutes ago. That should be a clue about how little I care about this one. This movie features two middle-aged lesbians finding themselves or something... its a weird family drama. No aliens, so who cares? I'm sick of family drama, not going to see it.
6. The King's Speech: This movie, if you believe Movie Bob, supposedly represents the legion of old people who rule the Academy Awards with a wrinkled fist. Since it hearkens them back to the good old days of WWII and the respectable glories of the British monarchy, they love it. I, being an even younger person than Movie Bob, somehow love it too, meaning that either I am secretly an 80-year-old, or maybe "The King's Speech" has a universal message after-all and it being a front-runner isn't some conspiracy. This was a really good movie, and even if it is a regular Best Picture winner, I would not be disappointed to see it win.
7. The Social Network: I have no idea why this movie is loved so much. In terms of an biography, its subject, Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook, is presented in such an indirect way that you really have no idea what makes him tick. The movie opens with a few internal monologues from him, then it ends, meaning that you have little to no idea why he's being such a jackass all movie. Biography films can be heavily effective even when presenting their hero at their best and their worst, such as with "Ray", but only when they actually are able to show off their creation. "Ray" was filled with the incomparable musical genius of Ray Charles. "The Social Network" merely talks about Facebook, it never shows it. This is not a Facebook movie, its a Mark Zuckerberg movie. And sadly, Mark Zuckerberg is not a very likable person, so the movie ultimately fails. Plus the movie isn't half as clever as it thinks it is.
8. Toy Story 3: This is an animated film, thus it has no chance on Earth to win. I see the Academy is still trying to work off its guilt of snubbing "WALL-E" by nominating every single Pixar film for Best Picture as penance. "Toy Story 3" would be a great upset, and it deserves to win since it was the best movie of 2010, but it won't. Personally I rather cry at happy endings than sad ones.
9. True Grit: A western crafted just as traditionally as it is done perfectly. I would really like to see this movie win as well. I've said that about like five movies already, showing that the Best Picture still is relevant. I honestly love half the lot here, that's rare. "True Grit" is a movie utterly without flaws, everything about it was done as well as the Coen brothers could have done. Weirdly though, its star, Hailee Steinfeld was only given a Supporting Actress role, when by all rights she should have gotten Best Actress. When a character is in every scene they aren't a supporting role. If anything the Academy has done this year is unfair and prejudiced its this. What's this bias against children? A load of crap, that's what.
10. Winter's Bone: Nobody on Earth has actually seen "Winter's Bone", and nobody actually knows what its about. Something about the family in the Ozarks, most of us just fall asleep reading the plot summary. Could not care less.
Post end.
I love you baby, we'll play again in the next life...
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* (Yeah, this is breaking down into a wild stream of consciousness post, sorry. I'm not all together in the head right now and my misery is mixing into my pen's ink, despite my best attempts at cheeriness.)
** Last year the Oscars picked two old men to host, this year I guess they decided to go for the "ultra-sexy" route. If James and Anne had sex on the stage, the show would be a huge hit.
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