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Let me sum up "Bleach" 217 in one word: gay.
So I'm not going to recap this one. Its an entire episode based around Charlotte, the most offensively awful character ever made. You take Dondochakka, Granz, Pesche, Princess Lampshade-hat, Jar Jar Binks, Tingle, Vaan, and throw in six Carmen Ghias for the right about of pure homosexuality, then you get Charlotte. I physically could not watch for a single second. Instead I watched "Married With Children" on Nickelodeon, that wasn't unrelentingly horrible. I'd rather watch an marathon of Larry the Cable Guy movies. On that thought, all you need to do is put Larry in a thong and you'll approximate the raw pain that comes from watching a single moment of this show. I'd rather have the box set of the "Transformers" trilogy surgically sewn into my optic nerve so I can never see anything ever again but Michael Bay's filmmaking brilliance.
Hell, I'll dress up as Charlotte myself before watching him on TV. At least that way I don't have to see it.
So the recap I'll give is this: gay. That's the only word I'll ever need to describe this episode. Instead, I'll throw in a pic of all the "Bleach" girls standing around looking sexy. I was going to go with the nude one, but I suspect somebody would get made at me if I did that. Here's to next week, when "Bleach" might actually be watchable.
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